Almost any of you reading this know my sweet Alysa. She's 8, almost 9, and in the 3rd grade this year. She made wonderful friends last year with a little girl she met on the playground who was not in her own class. We'll call her "H". They have remained best friends and were both heartbroken when they didn't get the same teacher this year either. There is a third girl ("L") in "H"'s class who wants "H" to play with her more and Alysa less. "H" promptly stated she didn't want to. She wanted to play with Alysa because they are best friends. "L" said, "Well, Alysa's a "B"." And she spelled out the entire word, not just the first letter. "H" told us about this and Alysa's heart was broken. Of course, she knows that "L" is jealous of her friendship with "H". But it still hurts to know someone you really don't even know, or anyone at all, would say such a mean, hurtful thing about you. I am appauled that these young girls (well, SOME young girls) are treating others like this and using names like that. Of course my fist desire was to get the girls' phone # and tell her parents what she'd done (along with snatching out a little hair from the girls' head to teach her a lesson). But I know that doing that would just promote more contention than there already is. So I don't know if I should talk to the girls' teacher so she can inform "L"'s parents, leave it alone or talk to someone myself. Of course I know Alysa and "H" should invite "L" to play with both of them when they're together and that might eliminate some of the ill feelings. But I also think that this little girl should be taught that names like that are unacceptable and hurtful. I was just floored and hurt for my baby girl and needed to vent - and maybe get some feedback on what the best thing to do would be. If you have an opinion, please send it back to me. Thanks for listening.
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4 comments:
Poor Alysa! She's such a sweet girl - I can't believe how cruel girls can be.
In my opinion, a parent or a teacher should know that their little girl is using language like that. I know if it was my daughter I would want to know.
Good luck!
hey stacy- sorry i missed you on my last visit to Richmond- I was so looking forward to meeting you :( My Natty is the same age as Alysa- so I feel your pain. We've had a bunch of the same experiences- girls can be so mean. The thing that has helped us most so far (and I know this sounds so simplistic), has been teaching her essentially the YW values- faith, divine nature, individual worth, etc. Teaching her to rely on Heavenly Father when other people hurt her. Because unfortunately this won't be the hardest thing thing she'll face and she'll need something stronger than a mommy sticking up for her to get her through. Also- it has taught Natalie how *not* to treat others (even though she already knew). Life is hard for our little girls...they're going to need tough skin and soft hearts to get them through these last days. wow- that got long...sorry you asked??
Anyway- those are my thoughts..good luck :) love, ashly
p.s.- congrats on your grandbaby- he's a doll!
You didn't tell me about all this.Kassidy went through the same thing last year and I was so sad for her, it's like they can't realize that you can have more then 1 best friend (some adults still don't get that either). I also think that as long as you tech Alysa how to act and treat others then she will be able to stand up for herself, but also tell her that if the little girl talks like that again to let the teacher know. We went through all that last year and it was not fun, I'm so sorry to hear all that.
PS you can always tell Dalyn to kick her butt!!! HA HA
Poor Alysa! Things like that can be so hurtful but my advice is....leave it alone....I've learned that unless you absolutely need to get involved it's best to let them work it out themselves. But if it does happen again, she should be sure to tell the teacher. Hopefully it was just a one-time thing.
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